Leonardo and the Mix Up
by TheIncredibleDancingBetty
Summary: Leo, suffering from a horrible headache, THINKS he picked the right medication to treat it. How wrong he was! Now, how is he going to get out of this awkward 'condition' with a shred of dignity intact? WARNING! SEXUAL SITUATIONS! Do NOT read if you do not like!
1. Awkward

I don't own the TMNT

A/N: I already have two purposely comedic naughty stories under my belt in Donatello and the Internet and Shiny Metal Asses. Lately, though, I've been craving writing another one. Pat Novus Ordo Seclorum on the back for urging me to write this one, I gave Donatello (his and my favorite turtle) a bigger part of the story in honor of him. The sinus headache part was added in honor of BubblyShell22, who is one of the craziest Leo fans that I know. Keep in mind that this is in no way meant to be a truly serious story, it is all in good fun. I hope that you enjoy the story! With any luck I will get a few chortles out of you, that always makes my day!

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Leo pinched the bridge of his nose, wincing, eyes scrunched closed. The sinus headache snuck up on him like a ninja. The pain, especially considering the location, was enough to drive even the most disciplined warrior to distraction. Opening his eyes, he grimaced as his vision was blurred for a moment, which compounded with the blasting pain in his skull made him nauseous.

Three months ago he got his nose broken in a fight. It was broken in a way that he didn't realize it until a week later when it had swollen considerably. By that time, Don had no way of repairing it to it's former glory, though everything seemed fin until these beauties, the sinus headaches, rose their ugly heads. Now his sinuses seemed to be able to predict the slightest cold front approaching the city.

Frustrated, he tried for a few moments longer to get past the pain. But it was as if little monsters were pounding on the inside of his skull, right between the eyes.

He couldn't do it.

That medicine, the one that Don gave him last time...that one worked wonders.

Blinking hard, Leo got up from the floor where he was trying unsuccessfully to meditate through the pain and headed to Don's lab. Unfortunately his brother was nowhere to be seen. Sitting down by the lab doors he called him.

Don picked up on the second ring. "Hey Leo! Need a_ _ thing? I'm at _h gett_ _ _ suppl_ _ _."

Leo blinked. The supply run. He'd almost forgotten. "Don, I can't hear you good, there's static. Look, just tell me what medicine you had me take for my last sinus headache. I've got a doozy."

"You wa_ _ medicine _ _r yo_ _ cake? W_at? Bo_ze?"

Grimacing, he rubbed the space between his eyes. "No! Medicine for a sinus h-e-a-d-a-c-h-e!"

There was a pause. "Oh! Do the t_a_ _ d_l, it's ri_ _t ne-"

Blinking, he looked at the phone. I blinked angrily at him, letting him know that he lost the call. Well, he got enough information out of him, surely. He put the phone on the floor beside him. There weren't a lot of meds that started with a 't,' right? Plus he knew it had an 'a' and a 'd' in it and ended with an 'l.' Shouldn't be too hard to figure out. He'd probably recognize it when he saw it anyway. Getting up, he sought out the medicine cabinet. He knew the code for both. Pursing his lips, he perused the pletheura of choices. There were a lot more there than he remembered. Obviously Don had managed to raid a clinic or something since the last time he looked in the medicine cabinet. The shelves were full of extra bottles. None of them, however, were in their original containers. They were all the generic brown ones, Don preferred to put them in those with his own hand made labels, it did something for his organization process or something. There were two main areas of the cabinet, one where the family felt free to go into for minor things with familiar meds like acetometophin and then there was the bigger cabinet area that had the harder to get, not often used medicines. Leo remembered that this particular one was where the one he was looking for was located.

Looking over the area, he felt a little confused. Don was obviously not completely done reorganizing this particular area since the new arrivals. He was the one who went in there most times anyway, so he didn't need to worry about it being easily understood by his brothers half the time. The thought crossed Leo's mind that perhaps he should just wait until Don came back. He knew where everything was for sure. But the pain around his eyes was getting heavier, and he knew that Don would be at least another hour. No, surely he could pick out a simple medication by himself. After all, he'd had it before, right? So he busied himself looking for the medicine.

He saw an innocuous brown bottle labelled 'tadalafil.' Was that one it? Well, it started with a 't,' ended with an 'l' and had an 'a' and a 'd' in it. Yes. Had to be it. Plus Leo swore that it sounded familiar. He grabbed the bottle and popped it open. Distinctly remembering that last time he took two pills, he swallowed them dry. Putting the bottle back, he decided to chase it down with a couple of swallows of the liquid Aleve.

Splinter looked up from his morning tea as Leo walked out of the lab, squinting at the bright lights. He looked at his eldest with some concern. "What is ailing you, Leonardo?"

"Just the sinus headache."

He nodded sympathetically. It had pained him to see his eldest go through this. "Yes, I understand. How such a seemingly simple injury can causes such long standing consequences. Why not skip morning practice? Go lay down, get some rest, my son."

His first instinct was to tell Splinter, that it was alright. After all, he had responsibilities. But when a new wave of pain ensued he quickly changed his mind and smiled with gratitude. "Hai, Sensei. Thank you." He wasted no time in making a beeline for his room, dimming the lights and laying down. Despite the pain radiating his skull, he found his eyes slowly closed in sleep.

It wasn't very long after that, that an oddly pleasurable, yet heavy sensation stirred him awake. Yawning, he stretched and opened his eyes.

What he saw literally jutting into his field of vision made him pale. "WHAT?!" he yelped, scrambling backwards across the sheets until he fell off the bed, his shell thudding on the floor. There was an almost immediate inquiry from somewhere on the other side of his door.

"My son? Are you alright?"

"Ah..." Leo's mouth worked, but no intelligible words came out. All he could do was stare at his cock fully exposed and rock hard before him. This had never happened to him before. Sure, he'd had, ah, intimate dreams, and sometimes he awoke with an erection, but never like this! Staring at it, he realized with a fresh wave of panic that it wasn't going down. It didn't show any sign of softening. Didn't you have to be in, ah, 'that mood' for it to be hard? Why wouldn't it go away! He flexed his tail, as if to coax it back in. All that it did, though, was make his cock bob with the motions. Then he heard the silent footfalls of his father's feet approaching the door. Panic seized him. Scrambling, he hooked his fingers onto his blanket and yanked it so hard that it ripped.

Splinter opened the door just as Leo had managed to cover himself, curling his body over his penis so that it didn't look like he was flying a flag. Ears flicking Splinter assessed his eldest son, cocking his head slightly. Leo stared back at him with such an atrocious smile plastered on his face that it looked like it hurt. That and he was holding his abdominal area as if he was in great pain. Something did not smell right. "What is wrong, Leonardo?" Splinter asked.

"Um...uh...I...er...I mean..." Leo cleared his throat and shifted. This caused the rough blanket to move over the sensitive head of his penis. He jumped at the sensation as it jolted his body, then clutched the blanket with slightly quivering hands. He looked up to see real concern brimming in Splinter's eyes. Crap, he couldn't let Splinter see what was going on! Innocent, think innocent! Somehow he widened his smile, hoping that the desperation didn't quite show in his eyes. "Just...fell of the bed! Yeah! And...uh...I...er...landed wrong..."

With critical eyes, Splinter assessed the situation, allowing a few seconds of deafening silence to stretch between them. For the life of him Leo couldn't quite read his expression. "I see." Leo held his breath, waiting to see what his father would do. There was no way in HELL that he would let him see him like this! How could this happen? Why didn't it go down? He wasn't thinking straight. Then again, how could you think when in this type of...condition? "Does your head still bother you?"

Leo just stared at his father for a second. His head? Was he talking about...that head? No, of course not, idiot! How could he know! Oh, yeah! The sinus headache! Did he still have it? Well, miraculously enough it seemed to have nearly disapated, but it still hurt enough that he could safely nod and not get caught lying. Maybe if he still had it, his father would leave the room, and at the moment there was nothing in his life that he wanted more. "Yes! Yep! Yes, still does!"

"It must be sensitive."

His jaw gaped. It took him another few seconds to recognize that he was still talking about the headache. Damn! So hard to think! He nodded. "Yes!"

"So it does not feel swollen?"

This had to be a joke. A sick, twisted joke. It was almost as if his father was doing this on purpose. His dick twitched beneath the covers, as if agreeing. He jumped slightly at the sensation. "Ah...what?"

Splinter cocked his head. "Last time you had a headache of this sort, you said that it felt as if your head was swollen. Under pressure."

Swollen head. Under pressure. Leo was half tempted to start looking for hidden cameras. Which was ridiculous, of course. He let out a slightly manic giggle, despite himself. He shook his head. "No, just..." frantically he searched for a word. "In the way?" Damn! Why couldn't he think.

His father gave him a look of sympathy. "Yes, Leonardo, I understand. Of course you are anxious to fulfill your duties. But you must also think of yourself. It is unfortunate that this particular condition has a way of imposing itself upon you in such an awkward manner."

Awkward. You could say that again. He was only all too aware of the length of his shaft pressed against his plastron. Did everything his father said always have a double standard? Or was it just his thought process right now that made it seem like that? Maybe he was sick in the head or something.

"Would you like help getting back into bed while you recover?" Splinter asked and reached for the blanket.

"**NO!**" Leo yelped so loud that it startled Splinter.

Blinking, the rat looked at him incrediously before his eyes narrowed. "What is it, Leonardo? What is going on? Are you hiding something?"

Frantically Leo's mind raced for a plausible reason for his reaction. He shifted, which again caused the blanket to rub against his jutting head. He jolted.

He couldn't think of a damned thing.

Uselessly he shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno...I'm sorry..."

Splinter just stared at him for a few seconds. Leo sat, frozen, hiding his aroused state, waiting to see what his father would do. Finally Splinter cut the air with his hand. "Bah. Just...get back into bed, Leonardo." Turning, he shook his head. "Teenagers." he muttered under his breath.

Leo didn't breathe until Splinter closed the door behind him. Then he unfurled the blanket and stared his predicament in the eye...literally...that one, singular eye in the middle of the swollen head. It was still as hard and as rigid as ever. What the hell was he going to do about this? Why didn't it go down by itself? It's not as if he was doing anything...arousing! Far from it! Maybe if he pictured the opposite...Closing his eyes, he mentally pictured the most disgusting things he could think of. Fishface french kissing Rahzaar, Shredder naked, Mikey's latest pizza creation... Peeking an eye open, he saw that nothing had changed. It was as if he was impaled.

Or perhaps this was meant to be the impaler...

Stop it, Leo! You'll get nowhere with that train of thought!

Or was he...

Abruptly Leo realized that there was an obvious solution to his problem. After all, the entire purpose of an erection was to...cum, right? Maybe if he did that, then it would go away...

For a moment the two thoughts warred within the turtle. On one point, yes, he'd done it before. He wasn't proud of it, of course, but he'd done it before and knew that it relieved his, ah, 'condition' nicely. Not that he'd ever found himself with something like this, of course. Then again...to do it in the middle of the day? Right after your father stopped by? With his family eating lunch on the other side of the door? Was that truly honorable?

Squaring his shoulders, Leo came to a decision. Propriety or not, its not as if he could walk about in this, ah, 'condition' at all. It needed to be taken care of, and this was the only way that he knew. For the life of him he couldn't even begin to think of another way to fix this.

So, settling back into his bed, he laid back and closed his eyes, willing his imagination to come to life. It took several moments just for him to be able to concentrate enough to mentally block out the noises. Then he had to clear his mind of the anxiety of the, ah, 'situation.' Then, he was ready. With somewhat grim resignation, his most common erotic imaginings came back to his mind.

_Karai laid on her back, smiling to him. A new wedding ring twinkled on her finger. "Leonardo, how I've waited for you! All this time...I was saving myself...just for you! My one true love!" She arched her back, her small, taut breasts jutting in the air like twin peaks. Her hips moved restlessly, deep secrets beckoning Leo beneath that dark thatch of curls. Leo could do nothing for a moment but stand before her, taking in her tight body, her petite waist, those shapely legs and seemingly delicate ankles...His gaze moved upward to her eyes, which were staring into his with the intensity of love. Love for him. Love everlasting._

Leo shifted in the bed, moving his hand to his cock, stroking it in slow, sure motions. His thumb rubbed over the head, it jerked in his hand. "Mmmm..."

_She reached for him and he couldn't help but respond. Lowering himself, he covered her with his body, their lips meeting in a kiss to herald all kisses. Fireworks went off in the distance. Then she opened up to him and he immersed himself into her softness. Angels sang. Pure waves of fantastical undulated ecstasy rippled over them as he moved within her. He could feel her love and she could feel his. It was glory incarnate. Then they began to reach the peak, that fantastical point of pure pleasure. When they reached it, it spilled over them like an amazing fountain of fiery liquid honey. _

Opening his eyes, Leo smiled, wiping the evidence of his pleasure with a tissue. Laying back for a moment he gave a small sigh. Perhaps there was something to this while middle-of-the-day thing...

Until he realized that his issue didn't seem to be resolving itself.

He was still as hard as ever.

Blinking, he could do nothing but stare at it for a moment once more. He was at a complete loss. This wasn't the way it was supposed to work, right? A guy got an erection, he came, then it was supposed to get soft...the whole cycle was broken! How did this happen!

Groaning, he tried to think.

What in the world was he going to do?

On the other side of the door, he heard Don coming back from his supply run. "MAN! You should've been there! So much stuff! I tell you, I love it when I can get more medical stuff, it can be so hard to come by!"

"All I hear is 'blah blah blah,' I'm a nerd." Raph snickered.

"I didn't hear you complaining when you came to me yesterday with that splinter."

Mike giggled. Raph growled. "It was a BIG splinter!"

"Uh-huh. Right." Then he heard the sound of his lab doors closing.

"You cried!" Mike squealed. It was immediately followed by his yelp as Raph pounced on him.

"Raphael! Calm yourself!"Splinter admonished.

Clearly the entire family was present in the main area.

Somehow it only made Leo feel more alone. there had to be a way to fix this! Laying there, with his penis at attention, an unpleasant, though logical solution started to creep into the leader's head. Don _was_ basically their family doctor...maybe he would know how to fix it?

The very thought of coming to Don with a fully erect shaft made Leo's stomach twist. Bile threatened at the back of his throat. Yeesh, that was the LAST thing he wanted to do! He couldn't let anyone in his family see him in this condition! There HAD to be another way!

So for another fifteen minutes, Leo struggled to think of another option.

Damn.

There was no other option.

He had to go to Don for help.

Gritting his teeth in frustration, Leo reached for his phone to call his brother, face heating at the prospect of the upcoming embarrassment. At least Don was the most discreet of all his brothers.

His fingers brushed his belt uselessly.

Looking down, he saw that he didn't have his phone. Where was it? Then it hit him. He left it in the lab when he got the medication!

How was he supposed to ask Don what to do about this if he couldn't call him over here! There was no WAY in hell that he was going to yell for him. That would cause too much attention, pique everyone's curiosity and he'd NEVER hear the end of it. Nobody else could know about this. It was impossible. He'd never live it down. Standing up, dick jutting out before him like a flagpole awkwardly, he stared at the door. Real fear crept into him.

He had only one choice, then. He had to cross the busy Lair, with a wicked boner, without attracting any attention to himself at all. What's the worst that could happen?

Aw, shit.

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A/N: This was originally going to be a oneshot, but so much more seemed to pour out of my fingers LOL And for those who haven't figured it out yet, Leo accidently took erectile dysfunction medicine. Firstly, thank you to sleepingseeker, Novus Ordo Seclorum, Lexifer and The Nerdfighter for encouraging me to post this thing. Especially Novus, who had a similar idea but let me run with it, also the incredibly cheesy erotic imaginings that Leo had was a bow to him, since i got the idea from him making fun of poorly written smut. Plus I thought it was plausible that Leo might do something like that. In any case, please leave a review and let me know what you think!


	2. Sausage Fest

I don't own the TMNT

A/N: Not too sure about this chapter...I don't know if I went too far on it or not. Honestly, it all started innocently enough, I was trying to think of something awkward, and NerdFighter agreed on this particular avenue...perhaps I could just heap the blame on her? LOL In any case, I realized after I wrote it that it seems slightly t-cest-y but it isn't intentional and that won't happen in the fic. Please enjoy!

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The family hardly noticed when their eldest brother slowly crept out of his room swathed in a blanket. He had it held out since having it snug would make his 'condition' obvious. Surely it looked ridiculous, but for the life of him Leo couldn't think of a different way to conceal it.

Mike was happily finishing cooking lunch, making a show of it and therefore taking much longer than he needed to. Raph was slouched slightly on the table, the glower on his face making it plain that he was hungry and didn't like waiting. Splinter sat quietly across form him, sipping his tea. Don was in the lab, where he rushed off to as soon as he got home.

His eyes glued to his family, Leo felt tiny beads of sweat form on his brow. Never before had he wanted to disappear so bad. The raging boner that bobbed before him twitched, sending a shiver through him. Why was this happening to him! Then, squaring his shoulders, he slowly slunk forward. If only he could have done some flips, used his ninja training to his advantage. Unfortunately Splinter apparently didn't teach them how to do so with an extra appendage.

Maybe…just maybe…he could make it across unnoticed.

He slunk forward. One foot. Another. Now a yard. The lab was only another twelvish yards to go. Footfalls lighter than he had ever made before, he advanced. It would be easier to just go across the room, but if he stayed against the wall, then it would be easier to remain unnoticed, yet it would take SO much longer…

Mulling it over, he slid his foot forward, almost straight across the Lair, decision made. Maybe if he went behind the kitchen area, it would be good enough. After all, everyone's back was turned away from him at the moment. Mike didn't appear to be near enough to completing lunch to turn around and serve everyone. He could make it. No. He WOULD make it!

Sometimes he wondered where these foolish thoughts came from…

Naturally he paid for his momentary distraction. Paying so much attention to getting across the room, he unconsciously lowered his arms enough for the rough blanket to stroke across his throbbing head, already more sensitive from the recent masterbation. Hissing, he sucked in his breath as he jerked straight at the sensation zipping through him.

Mike turned around and pinned him down with his gaze.

Leo felt his face heat. His brother was looking at him while he had an erection… But it's not like he knows that, Leo! He can't see through the blanket! Shaking himself slightly, he forced a smile.

Cocking his head quizzically, Mike looked at his brother. "Are you alright bro? You look…I don't know that look…Raph, what would you name that look?" He asked with a teasing smile.

No, God no, not Raph!

Grumpily his brother turned around and gave him a look. Leo's blush deepened and his smile became more forced.

Act natural…

"I dunno, like he's gotta take a dump? Of flaming nails?"

Mike snorted laughter and Splinter looked at Raph disapprovingly. "Raphael, watch your subject matter, especially at the table. Most inappropriate." Then the rat joined in the 'lets look at Leo' game. Never had he felt the weight of so many eyes.

Die. Just kill me now. Or shrink me into the floor.

He practically squirmed under his family's combined gaze. "Are you feeling better, my son? Are you…ah…" he looked at the blanket held in an unnatural way with something akin to concerned curiosity. "…cold?"

Shaking his head so hard that his bandana tails whipped his face, he looked away, the blush searing his skin. "No… I just…uh…"

Damn! Did he seriously forget to think of a tangible reason why he was doing this with the blanket! Yeesh, never before had he had such a difficult time planning ahead. It was like he couldn't think! Maybe it was a blood flow thing…

Then he realized that his family's stares were becoming more pointed. He straightened, the motion making his dick bob slightly before him. It was almost as if it was waving a greeting. Well, he had to do something, or they would get even MORE curious… So cleared his throat, "Just sore, i guess," and walked forward with small, shuffling steps, trying to move his body in a way that didn't make his cock sway about. It was harder than he thought.

Harder. He'd have to watch his thoughts…

Looking at him, Leo knew that Mike could see that there was something else. For a moment, Leo tensed waiting for his youngest brother to hurl an accusing question. "Leo, want some lunch?" Mikey quipped. Leo breathed a sigh of relief that he didn't mention the obvious blanket. Sometimes Mike saw when something was bothering his family and steered to topic of conversation away. He gave a slightly more genuine smile as he approached, frantically thinking of some sort of excuse that he could use to get past them.

Then Mike thrust the food in his face.

And, of course…

It was a huge sausage…

The meat quivering in the casing...

With white stuff dripping off the tip.

Leo was pretty certain that the blood drained from his face as he stared at the huge piece of meat bobbing before him. Even worse was the way Mike was holding it. Not in a bun, not on a plate, but his fingers curled around the thing, his thumb stroking the top, like he was holding a…

Oh…

Mike grinned at his reaction. "My latest creation! I know it will be AWESOME!" bringing it to his face he rubbed his cheek against it lovingly. The sausage hiding under the blanket Leo held bobbed slightly in excitement from the picture presented. Bringing his cheek to the tip, he turned and delicately licked the white stuff off the end of it.

Oh God…

"So delicious! I could put this in my mouth all day long!"

Kill me now, please…

Raph scowled. "Don't put any of your ranch on mine. Looks nasty. Where is mine already?"

"But I made it myself!"

"My point exactly."

Turning to his grumpy brother, he took a spoonful of more ranch from a bowl on the counter and slathered it all over the meat. The thick white stuff dripped off in thick clumps. Then, with a mischevious grin, he stuck it in his brother's face. "Come on, Raphael!" He said in an imitation of a hypnotist. "Taste my huge weiner! The sauce is the best! Let it get all over your face while you stuff it in your face!"

They know. They have to know. No way in hell they'd be doing this otherwise.

Leo pinched himself to make sure he was actually awake. Unfortunately, he was.

Snarling, Raph slapped the sausage away. Giggling, Mike shoved it into his face far enough that it smacked him on the cheek, leaving a gooey smear across it. The sausage bobbed with each slap, sending tiny droplets of white goo spattering the turtle. "Damnit Mike! Get this thing out of my face or I'll shove it down your throat SO hard-"

Rapping his staff on the floor, Splinter scowled. "Michelangelo! Stop playing with your meat!"

Any other time Mike would've pressed further, but after all they were talking about food here, and he was hungry. So he backed off, petting the sausage. It bobbed in his hand.

Leo couldn't help but follow the motion, his own dick lifting slightly with each stroke of Mike's hand.

This was wrong on so many levels…

"Don't worry, my sweet girl!" Mike cooed to the wiener. "I still love you!" Then he faced it with a grin and too late Leo realized what he was about to do. Time to eat. He somehow managed to insert half of it into his mouth, gagging slightly as the tip pressed against the back of his throat, before biting down. Only about half of the homemade ranch that he covered it with ended up in his mouth, though, the rest smeared across his lips.

"Did you just swallow that thing whole?" Raph asked, disgusted.

Grinning through a mouth full of meat. Turning, he presented four plates, on each was a sausage in a bun slathered with home-made ranch.

Raph stared at his, absently wiping the white stuff off his face. "I thought I told you none of that ranch!"

"Just try it, Raphael." Splinter murmured to himself, smiling indulgently at is youngest. Without hesitation, he took a huge bite.

"Does anyone know when Donnie's going to be done? I don't want his getting cold."

Raph looked at it uncertainly, suddenly wondering if he was as hungry as he thought he was. Grimacing, he looked up to see Leo once more.

Leo didn't move from the spot that he stopped at, distracted beyond belief at the sausage foreplay that had gone on before him. It was only when Raph fixed him with that look that he realized too late that he should've taken the opportunity to get out of the area.

"So. You didn't tell us, fearless. What's with the blanket?"

Shit. Think, Leo, think! "Ah…Just…a bit chilly…"

Really? Was that it?

Of course Raph's bullshit meter was running high. He snorted. "Really? So why hold it like that?"

Leo shrugged pathetically. The blanket shifted. His dick twitched.

"Wait…is that my blanket?"

He blinked. Was it? Leo looked down at the blanket. Then he saw it. It was Raph's blanket. They must have gotten mixed up last laundry day. The blood left his face just a little bit as the realization dawned on him. Raph's blanket has been touching his throbbing dick this whole time…

"I knew that something didn't feel right about the blanket on my bed last night. Too soft." Then he narrowed his eyes at his older brother. "Did you rip it?"

"Yes! He ripped it off his bed when was trying to hide his 'condition' from Splinter. "Ah…"

He'd been looking for an avenue to unleash his frustration and Raph had come right to it. Stepping away from his dripping ranch-covered sausage, he stalked towards his brother. "Just give it back before you mess it up any more."

The panic built within Leo as his brother approached. He stood frozen to the spot, his massive hard-on twitching before him. Once Raph was a step away from him, he managed to collect his senses enough to leap back with a yelp, clutching the blanket tighter while still trying to hold it away from his cock.

Raph scowled. "C'mon, Leo. Just give it! You don't like the rough blankets anyway!" Leo sidestepped as he reached out. Raph gritted his teeth. "Just GIVE it!" Fear motivated the turtle forward more, though he was forced to take more mincing steps than he'd ever done before to avoid the blanket fluttering and revealing his secret.

"Raphael, Leonardo is not feeling well. Please-"

"NOW!"

Just then Raph made a lung. Mincing steps wouldn't do it. He leapt backwards, but not before Raph's hooked fingers caught the jagged torn edge. With a swing of his arms, he ripped the blanket from Leo's grasp.

It fluttered in the air.

The cool air touched Leo's skin.

Silence stretch for several heartbeats…

Leo could think of nothing else to do…

He dove for cover.

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A/N: so what do you think? Too much? Keep in mind that in Leo's state of mind, the double-entendre would be much more obvious, if he was in an innocent situation then it would seem more...well...innocent. In any case, I think there is maybe one more chapter. Please leave a review and let me know what you think!


	3. Please Don't Go There

I don't own the TMNT

A/N: This chapter was originally going to be ending in a different area, but changed my mind because of how it turned out. Please enjoy!

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The family stopped and stared at the large seating area where Leo just disappeared behind, even Raph, who was holding the blanket.

"Uh…Leo? You…okay?" Mike said slowly.

Splinter flicked his ears, his face the epitome of confusion. His eldest was truly acting decidedly…odd today. "Leonardo?"

Crouching on the floor in front of the couch, nearly on the floor, Leo peeked up just in time to see Raph walking towards him. His erection, which hung heavy in the cool air, was still jutting out in front of him.

NO! Could he never catch a break?

He grabbed the first thing that he could lay his fingers on, which was a pillow, and stuffed it on his groin, smacking his dick against his plastron an instant before Raph's head popped up, scowling. "What the hell is up with you today, Leo?

It took a second before Leo could answer. For one thing he was still tingling from his penis smacking against him. For another, he had it pressed against his plastron and the effect was…horribly pleasant. Lastly, the pillow that he just so happened to grab was not only so small it barely covered his penis but it was encased in a thin, satiny smooth fabric that rubbed against his dick in ALL the wrong places.

He realized that he was staring and Raph's scowl was getting deeper. Coughing to fill the silence, he couldn't think of a damn thing to say.

Well…he always was in favor of a tactical retreat.

Without another word he hopped up, pillow clutched to him, barely covering his manhood, and sprinted for Don's lab.

Yanking open the door, he practically threw himself inside and slammed it shut behind him. "DONNIE! I-"

Turning around, his eyes went wide and he clutched the sickly satiny pillow tighter.

Don, standing next to _April_ of all people, were staring at him curiously. Not only that, but she was dressed for the warm day in a pair of short shorts and a pale tank top. Jaw hanging, Leo could feel his dick warm slightly. He blushed. Yeesh, was the very sight of a female enough to get him…feeling that? Really? And he had never even _thought_ of April in that way and now his _other_ head was thinking that they should-

Goddamnit.

Wrong on so many levels.

"What is it, Leo? You need something?" Don said with a slightly annoyed smile. He and April were having an awesome conversation just a second ago. She was actually telling him about her day! Just like couples did! He suddenly had to stifle a giggle and squared his gaze at his eldest brother, who was somehow pale yet blushing, quivering all over and clutching a pillow in the weirdest way. Something had to be wrong.

A long moment of silence stretched between them as Leo's jaw worked but no sound came out. Seriously, could he not catch a friggin break? Finally he gave up trying to control the completely _wrong_ sensations. Closing his eyes, he pointedly looked away. His voice was squeaky and rushed. "DonnieIneedtotalkttoyourightnow! Please! SorryAprilyouneedtogonow!"

She furrowed her slender brows. "Leo? You okay? Maybe I can help..." Concerned, she reached for him.

Leo yelped and hopped back so quickly and awkwardly that he crashed into a small shelving unit holding small metal instruments, which promptly crashed to the floor. The sound startled him again, the jumpy turtle practically dancing away from it on his toes, his hands clutched in a death grip on the pillow. All the movement, no matter how hard he tried to prevent it from doing so, translated in the stupid pillow sliding against his throbbing penis, sending jolts of electric energy zipping through him. He shuddered.

April, startled and more than a little worried, stared at Leo. Then, slowly she shook herself and gave Don a smile. Though something was obviously wrong, she knew when to push and when not to. "Why don't you see what he needs? I was getting hungry anyway. Mike was saying that he was going to try something new today."

Don tried not to let his disappointment show, which was easier with his quivering brother standing before him. With him, curiosity almost always won out in the end. Giving April a wistful smile, he nodded. "Well, I would be careful. With Mike, sometimes new isn't a good thing. Maybe we can continue later?" he asked hopefully, trying to look nonchalant.

"Maybe." Giving Leo one last smile, she left the lab, closing the door behind her.

As soon as she was out of site, Don turned to Leo. "Leo, what on Earth is going on with you?"

"Ummm…." Leo chewed on his lip, sweat beading his brow, suddenly losing his voice. It was a heck of a whole lot easier thinking that his brother could fix it than it was actually _telling_ him the nature of his, ah…predicament. But it wasn't going away and he needed to do something. Lowering his eyes, shame filling him, he blushed. "Something's wrong."

"Yes. Obviously." Don turned his swivel chair, putting his elbows on his knees. This was so unlike Leo he was beginning to get worried. His mind was already working through all the plausible possibilities. "Maybe you can show it to me?"

Leo paled. "Show you?" he squeaked. Trembling, he clutched the pillow tighter. Shit, never mind about this. He would just walk around with a pillow for the rest of his life and do handstands to pee. No problem. He couldn't tell him, nonetheless _show_ him! Yet he stood rooted to the spot, unmoving.

Pursing his lips, Don assessed his brother. Whatever it was, he could tell that this needed to be treated somewhat delicately. He looked at the pillow that was in Leo's vice grip. He put on a gentle smile. "Maybe you could just give me the pillow?"

"NO!" Leo dug his fingers into it harder.

Frustrated, Don slapped his thigh. "Leo, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Shaking his head so hard that his bandana tails slapped his face, Leo bit his lip. He swallowed. "I can't!"

Maybe it was time to handle this differently. Standing, Don crossed his arms and fixed Leo with a harder look. "I'm a medical professional. Whatever you tell me, I won't judge, you know that. Now…give. Me. The. Pillow." He was using his 'doctor voice,' something that he spent a lot of time practicing. It was meant to evoke ironclad authority yet the trust that 'this guy knew what he was doing and could help you.'

It worked.

Blinking, Leo slowly eased his grip on the pillow, ever so slightly moving it away from his body. His dick stuck to his plastron for an instant before peeling itself away in a way that made him shudder. Hands trembling, he dropped the pillow.

Don stared.

Leo's dick stared back, standing at attention.

Holy shit.

One bad thing about using the 'doctor voice' is that you couldn't show _any_ judgement, otherwise it might not work again. And crap, was it ever hard this time. Not like he expected to see his most disciplined brother's throbbing boner quivering in the air before him like a meaty flagpole.

It took him a few seconds before he could find his voice. Tearing his gaze away from it helped immensely. Why the hell was Leo standing in his lab with a raging boner? Staring at the wall behind Leo's head….the one on his shoulders!...he cleared his throat, mind working. "Ah…so…you seem to be…um..." Yeesh, how does he handle this one! I mean, what exactly did he want? A size comparison?

For the millionth time that day Leo desperately wished that he could just sink into the floor and never come up again. Embarrassment and shame enveloped every fibre of his being. Looking at the wall behind Don, not able to look his own brother in the eye, he fought back the tears. "It won't go away." He whimpered.

Don blinked. "Really?" Now his medical curiosity was peaked. "Peristalsis." He murmured to himself. Slowly he returned his gaze to his brother's shaft, his brain switching gears from embarrassed brother to family doctor. It _did_ look a little too red. The medical implications were already firing through his neurons. "When did this start?"

Leo could see the change in Don's demeanor and found it to be slightly relaxing. Successfully fighting back the tears, he swallowed. "I took a nap, then when I woke up, it was like this."

Eyeridges furrowed, Don looked at him. "Just like this? Not more like, ah, when a male ususally wakes up with an erection?"

Looking away he shook his head.

"Hm." Don looked at the massive penis, eyeridges furrowed. Time to look for cause and effect. "What did you do before the nap?"

"I took the medicine. The one I called you for. For my migraine."

"The tramadol?"

Leo stared at Don. "No…the other one."

"But I told you to take the tramadol." Don was already heading over to the medicine cabinet. Picking up the bottle of tramadol, he indeed saw that the same number of pills remained. He stared at Leo. "Which one did you take?"

Stepping forward, his cock bobbing with each step, the blushing, embarrassed turtle touched the bottle that he recognized.

Leo started when Don slapped himself loudly, snatching the bottle and staring at it as if it would grow a mouth and sing to him. "Noooooooo! You weren't supposed to take tadalafil! Why?! Why did you take this!"

"What are you talking about? Did that do this to me? What is it?"

"Tadalafil is the scientific name for Cialis. You know, the erectile dysfunction medication?"

Everything clicked in Leo's head at that moment. The embarrassment, shame and everything else he had been feeling all day suddenly slammed into him and morphed into anger. "What the _fuck_ are you doing with erectile dysfunction stuff? Why the HELL do you need shit like that! Do you know what the fuck I've been through today? Do you? I've been through fucking hell today! Because of this shit!"

It was Don's turn to blush now. Not only for the mix up but also for the image of his brother cursing at him with his dick bobbing in agreement. "Sorry! But I told you to take tramadol, not this one! And I was going to try to break down the medical components, since the primary purpose is to increase blood flow, you know, which might be medically necessary…" he trailed off, realizing how it sounded. Shaking his head, he backed up a step. "That doesn't matter now. What matters is taking care of that!" He said, pointing at the dick that was pointing back at him.

Grinding his teeth, Leo ran a hand over his domed head. "Fine. What do we do about it? I want this thing back to normal."

Blushing, Don looked away from his brother. "Well did you try to, um…you know?" he made a jacking off motion in front of him.

Somehow blushing harder than Don, Leo looked down and gave a tiny nod.

"Uh…and…it didn't go…ah…down at all?" What a conversation to be having with your brother. Really.

Biting his lip, Leo shook his head slightly, his embarrassment back in waves.

The implications began to settle on Don and it wasn't pretty. Shit, he didn't want to do this. This was one of the times when he truly wished that they were all human and could just go to a hospital or something. "If it doesn't go down, we'll have to fix it here." He said in a low voice.

Leo pointedly looked away from his erect member. He didn't like the way that Don's voice sounded. "What do you mean? What will happen if it doesn't go down?"

Clearing his throat, Don slowly, morosely, began picking up the supplies that he was going to need and placing them on his small exam table. "A penis is composed of spongy tissue, when it is flaccid, it is actually under strain. When it is erect, it is actually relaxed. The only issue with it being erect, is that the three columns of spongy tissue are filled with blood, and it isn't good for blood to, ah, 'not go anywhere.' Blood needs to flow, you know? So…"

"Don. Please. Just tell me. I can't take this anymore!" Leo moaned.

Taking a deep breath, Don looked his brother in the eye. "If it doesn't go down on its own in a few hours then you might lose it."

Leo blinked, his jaw going slack. "Lose it? You mean…the erection?" he said hopefully.

Face serious, Don shook his head. "No. You would lose the penis."

It was as if you slapped him in the face. Gaping, he stared. "All of it?" he squeaked. Unconsciously he put a hand on his penis, as if making sure that it was still alive and well. It twitched in his palm, sending a shiver through his body.

Don nodded. "Yes. All of it. It is kind of the same thing as if you would've had a rubber band tied around the base or something."

Leo blanched and suddenly felt light headed. Staggering slightly, he put a hand to his head.

Seeing this, Don grabbed a chair and quickly guided Leo to it. As soon as he sat, he gripped the arms of it like a vice. "This can't be happening." He whispered. Looking up at Don, he asked "Is there anything we can do?"

Ever since Don fully realized the predicament he was steeling himself for this part. He was pretty sure that he was ready. Pressing his lips together, he nodded. "We can either wait to see if it goes down or…take the blood out ourselves."

Something about that sounded way too ominus. He licked his lips, his mind struggling to grasp the situation that had already spun wildly out of control. "What do you suggest?" He asked in a low voice.

Serious as he ever had been, Don looked at him grimly. "That we take the blood out manually."

Leo realized that he was trembling even as the words were leaving his mouth. "How do we do that?"

Expressionless, Don answered. "Through the main vessels on the shaft with a syringe."

Spots suddenly formed before his eyes as a fresh wave of strong light-headedness swamped him. Was he seriously about to faint? Closing his eyes, he swallowed and concentrated. He had faced death on many occasions, fought battles harder than others could imagine, been stabbed, kicked, punched, thrown, burned…but this…His stomach rolled and he fought against a wave of nausea. The very thought of a needle approaching him there…The shudder that went through him was hard enough to rattle his bones.

Looking down, he could clearly see and feel that the news didn't face his dick one iota. Yes. Definetly wasn't going down. Damnit.

For a moment he seriously considered waiting to see if it would go down by itself. But Don said that he might lose his penis. Well…did he really need it? Of course common sense said that he'd never use it, but there were hopes…

He could feel Don standing there, patiently waiting for an answer while Leo considered the implications. None of his other brothers would do this for him like Don was, Leo thought. But then again, if he agreed then Don would be even _closer_, closer than he ever wanted him to be…

But seriously, how much longer was he going to sit here? Throbbing cock standing at attention? Especially after that fiasco in the main area of the Lair.

C'mon, Leo, it's just a goddamned needle…

"Alright." Leo looked at Don and took a deep breath. "Let's do it."

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A/N: That is actually what you do for peristalsis (medical jargon for erection). So yes, next chapter Don's going to get up close and personal with Leo's penis. Hope to see you there LOL Please leave a review and let me know what you think!


	4. Three Things

I don't own the TMNT

A/N: I've literally had a week from hell, so writing this was kind of a fresh breath, a little comedic naughtiness to lighten up my night LOL

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The sound of the final preparations was almost more than Leo could bear. The clink as the syringe hit the stainless steel tray, the soft sound of him getting some sterile paper-wrapped pieces of gauze ready, the sickening rustle of him prepping the gloves…

Leaning back in the chair, Leo squeezed his eyes shut and gripped the hand rests hard enough that he was surprised he didn't rip the stuffing out. Mentally grasping around, he struggled to start a meditation, to calm the body, but nothing worked. All he could concentrate on, amidst his more strained breathing and rapidly beating heart was the fact that his brother was about to apply a _needle_ to his erect penis.

Why was this all happening to him?

He felt Don shift and squeezed an eye open to see him tear open a tiny square package. "This might be cold, Leo." Then he swabbed the thing across his shaft.

Don was right, it was wet and FREAKISHLY cold!

Leo yelped and jumped in the seat. "What the fuck was that?!" he gasped.

"Just a sanitizer. Seriously, Leo, if you're going to jump on this…are you sure you can sit still? I don't want you to jerk like that when I have a needle in it."

That thought had never even occurred to Leo. He felt the blood drain from his face as the image of his penis skewered on a needle danced before his brain.

No. Way. In. Hell.

Licking his lips, he leaned back forcefully and gripped the hand rests tighter. Could he sit still? "Maybe….maybe you should, uh, tie me down or something."

Don looked at him, surprised. "What? No, Leo, that could be more dangerous. If you manage to move, it would be more severe. Maybe I could give you something? To calm you down?"

He shook his head sharply. "_NO!_ No more pills!"

Don couldn't help but hide a smile as he grabbed another wrapped sanitizer. He shouldn't be too surprised, there. He'd probably have to force feed Leo meds if he ever needed them, for the future. Tearing the package open he chuckled. "Here comes another one, Leo."

Biting his lip, he nodded and steeled himself, even wrapping his ankles around the legs of the chair, hooking it with his feet. When Don applied the freezing wet wipe to the underside of his penis, he gasped at the sensation that jolted through his body but somehow managed to hold himself immobile otherwise.

"Good. That was good, Leo." Don said soothingly, then looked at the appendage before him with a sense of determined resignation. He had to do this. Neither of them would like it, though. Looking up at his brother, checking for a reaction, Don spoke again. "I need to look for some good veins."

Eyes still squeezed shut tight, wondering why Don was saying something seemingly so stupid, he nodded. "Uh-huh."

Clearly he didn't understand. Don blushed, what a conversation to have with your older brother! "Leo, that means that I'll…have to touch it. Just…uh…giving you a warning."

Once again Leo realized that he never considered that before. He was concentrating so hard on the needle that it never seemed to occur to him that Don would basically be forced to fondle his pecker.

Shit.

Yet again, he considered forgoing the whole thing…

No, this needed to be done. Better than losing it entirely, right? Squirming down a little further into the seat, he gave a sharp nod. "Whatever needs to be done." Looking Don in the eye, he realized that he was forming a lump in his throat. After all, how hard must this be on his brother? Swallowing, he gave another nod. "I trust you, brother. And…thank you."

"Don't mention it." Don replied with a slight smile, which promptly fell when he say Leo's other head pointing at him. "Really. Please. Don't mention it."

Leo couldn't help but stifle a nervous, slightly giddy laugh. "God, you can count on that! This better not leave this room!" This whole thing seemed so be so surreal. Were they seriously doing this?

Don knew that they were stalling. Might as well get it over with. After washing his hands, he put on the latex gloves that he had made especially for his hands, swathing them in betadine. He cleared his throat. The fact that this was his brother was beginning to get to him. It would be so much easier if he was a complete stranger. Finally he gave a sigh. "Alright. Would you rather I talk you through it? So you know what's coming? Or…"

Shit, was he really asking him this? He shook his head. "No, I don't want to know, just tell me when you use the needle, so I can…uh…get ready."

Nodding, Don promptly squatted before Leo while he sat on the chair. Using his forearms to avoid ruining the sanitation of his gloves, he slowly spread Leo's legs. In the situation, despite the medical purpose, it seemed like a freakishly intimate gesture. Leo bit his lip as his legs opened. They quivered, which in turn caused the erect dick before him to sway slightly, as if taunting him. Grimacing, Don reached over and grasped it by the upper shaft near the head, turning it to the side.

Gasping, Leo quivered all over, forcing his head back until he was staring at the ceiling, avoiding looking anywhere near what was going on down there. He couldn't keep his eyes closed anymore, it somehow seemed like more of a nightmare when he did so. A shudder went through him when Don's hands, slick with betadine wetted gloves, shifted up the shaft a little more until they touched the base of his head. He felt something pool in his groin and despite himself he let out a groan.

Unsure exactly what to think, Don looked as the entire penis seemed to somehow grow larger, warmer and jerk in his hand. He blushed when he realized what was going on. "Don't jizz on me, Leo."

That sentence seemed so out of character that Leo couldn't help but let out a giggle. He barely resisted clapping his hand over his mouth at the sound. Why the hell would he laugh at a time like this? He blushed deeper. "What…"

The situation toned down slightly, Don gave a hesitant smile. "It's the adrenaline, Leo. It's playing havoc with your system. And I'm only trying to find a good vein, so calm down." He leaned a little closer.

Leo shivered. "You're breathing on it." He gasped. The warm air dancing across the sensitive skin…it felt so much more…horribly tantalizing since it was moist first with the topical sanitizer and then with the fluid on Don's gloves. The little jolts it was sending through his system were almost more than he could bear. Was he about to come again? Oh, no…

"Sorry, Leo, but I have to find a good vein." Don repeated, getting slightly annoyed. This all seemed to be so much simpler in the textbooks. Just like everything else.

With another shudder, Leo let out a low groan. "Does your face have to be so close?"

Annoyed, Don looked at his brother, his nose several inches from Leo's dick. "Do you want me to miss?"

Leo's head gave a single shake.

"Then let me do this." Don said under his breath. His brow furrowed as he looked at his brother's penis. Unfortunately, Leo's veins seemed to love rolling. That would make a successful stick much harder. He might have to anchor it, which of course would require more hand contact…he stealed a glance up at his brother. Assessing. Yes, he could take it.

Moving his hands, he completely wrapped his hand along the base for stability, using his thumb to anchor down the biggest vein, which liked to roll. Then he opened his mouth to tell Leo that he was about to go for the needle.

Just as the door opened.

"My son, I really must insist on knowing what is going on with y-" Splinter's voice cut off completely as he took in the sight before him. Eyes wide, pupils constricted, they saw Leonardo sitting in a chair, head thrown back, face twisted with….oh no…And Donatello, kneeling before his erect…no…touching it like…ah…and his mouth was open…ooooh…what was glistening on it? Was it…

And, damned it all, all the brothers could think to do was to stare, their breath frozen in their throats.

Their father gave a strangled cry.

_"NANDA!"_

With that Splinter whirled on his heel, slamming the door behind him as he swiftly moved back into the Lair. Both turtles stared at the door, still shuddering slightly from the impact, as they heard something crash in the main area of the Lair.

"Did Master Splinter just curse?" Leo gave a choked whisper, his soul plummeting to the depths of eternal embarrassment.

They heard a bang on the other side of the door.

"Splinter?" Mike's voice was raised questioningly.

_CRASH!_

There was a slight pause.

Don took his eyes from the door and looked at Leo. His brother was completely distracted, looking at the direction Splinter went with a look of abrupt horror.

Distracted…

Now or never.

Snatching the syringe, he stuck the needle in the anchored vein, the tip piercing the sensitive skin.

The poor member had been through so much. The prolonged erection, the masturbation, the innuendo, the awkward situations, the stuff with Don, and now this…

It was too much.

As the sensation hit him like a ton of bricks, Leo clenched his teeth and threw his head back with the sheer pain, oddly mixed with slight pleasure. "Oh GOD!" He cried out.

On the other side of the door, Splinter gave a strangled cry. Something else crashed and one of the turtles yelped. "_Unko, UNKO!_" Something shattered and Raph squeaked. With that they heard his sliding ricepaper door slam with a strangely whispering crash.

Leo hardly noticed, his entire focus being on what Don was doing to his buddy. The first prick of the needle was hard enough, but that wasn't it. After he withdrew a full syringe of blood, he withdrew it and, after emptying it, pricked his prick in a different spot. It took five returns, each one making Leo shudder. As he went, though, it didn't feel as bad, he realized, because his erection was going away. It was going away!

It wasn't until Don hadn't returned with his instrument of torture for a few long seconds that Leo realized that he was done.

He silence afterwards was deafening, save the quiet sounds of Don putting away the tools and materials. Don was swamped in his own thoughts. He didn't ever think that he would get that intimate with any of his brothers, especially Leo. Plus the implications of getting spotted by Splinter were really beginning to settle on him. Embarrassment twisted in his gut.

Leo was staring at the same dick that had plagued him for most of the day slowly shrink back to its relaxed state enough for him to tuck it back into the area at the base of his tail. It had been out for so long that the sensation seemed oddly weird, almost as if it had to 'settle' back into place.

It was over. It was all over. This hell, this embarrassment, it was gone. Relief washed over him like a cool stream. With a shaky smile, he looked at Don. "How can I repay you for this?"

Snapping off the last glove, Don gave him a look "Three things. One, don't ever take a medication unless you know what it is. Two…take care of your own erections from now on, okay?"

"What's the third?"

Just then Raph came in, an astonished look on his face. "Guys, what the hell is up with Splinter?"

Don grinned. "Three. Leo's going to explain it. I'm done for today."

The blood drained from Leo's face. "Awe hell…"

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A/N: I originally had a different ending to this one, kind of Don centered but I decided to save that for another story. In any case I hope that you liked this one! Please leave a review and let me know what you think!

P.S. Nanda - What the hell. Unko - shit/poop


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